I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
