Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
