Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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