Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
