My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
