Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
