I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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