Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
