So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
