yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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