all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
