he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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