I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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