I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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