RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
