You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
