I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
