My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
