mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
