Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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