Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
