i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
