I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
