he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
