I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
