dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
