I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
