How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
