Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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