the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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