im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
