I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So vagazzling was a success
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
