That's when you crack a 10am beer
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
