im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
