A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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