Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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