I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
