Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
