too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
