I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
