break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
