when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
