I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
