shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
