did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
