fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
