Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
