if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
