his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
