i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
